In His Hands

So much has happened over the past couple of weeks I am playing catch-up here. After finding out that I would indeed be able to go to a Living Waters Conference in Bali Indonesia and after all the plans were made and the tickets were paid for (nonrefundable) I had a gallbladder attack.

I had my first gallbladder attack when I was pregnant with my daughter thirty years ago now. I was hospitalized but because I was pregnant they did not do surgery. After my daughter was born I had no more trouble for several years and only the odd minor attack or rumblings since so the doctor never felt there was a great need to get my gallbladder out.

When my mother died my already poor eating habits got worse and eating was the way I sought comfort and how I tried to avoid pain. When I got to India the food really became a focus for me of my lack of control over my life, no choice, always the same. It seemed all I was eating was rice and everyone heard about it. I started out with good intentions wanting to eat the right things but finding chips and nuts and cookies in the stores was easier then buying fruit which had to be carefully washed and spoiled fast and attracted ants etc. We are always so good at rationalizing these things. So one thing lead to another and then I had the attack.

We love to question things after the fact and I am no exception, would it have been different had I not eaten all that stuff for comfort and turned to Jesus instead, of course it would, but how things would have evolved if only is not for us to know, now I just move on and hopefully learn (as I lick my wounds) a better way. I know at least that I am not in bad company, I love the fact that God allowed all the mistakes into the Bible. thank you Lord that you let us learn from what we do wrong and thank you that you pick us up again when we fall.