The Journey

 As I sit here I am thinking of a line from The Fellowship of The Ring, Sam stops in the middle of the field and says; "This is it, if I take one more step, it will be the farthest from home I have ever been." Frodo repeats something he has heard Bilbo say; "It's a dangerous thing Frodo, going out of your door, you step onto the road and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to."  

I am on a journey like none I have ever taken and the enormity of it all has been really hitting me over the past few days.  Time is marching on at a cruel rate of speed and I am afraid of losing my feet and being swept off in a sunnami that I will have no way of controling, ironically the idea is to give up control, to die to all that I have known and let Jesus lead me on His path of choice, breathtakingly exciting and terrifying at the same time. 

This is not the start of the journey it has been going on for some time but it is where I feel like if I take one more step, I will be the furthest away from home that I have ever been, home in the sense of the familiar.  India is not entirely unknown but going for three week stints is not the same as living there.  I have heard the Lord say several times that I must embrace India as my home for the time I am there, not counting the days until I leave, but rather embracing it as home, living there, connecting there, investing my life there.  

Being in transition is very uncomfortable, I  am not really fully here now, many things are ending, changing, yet I am not there yet either. My head is full of what might be and I do not want to dwell on that because my imagination will not be kind. I don't want to go ahead of Jesus either, the only safe place is firmly holding on to his garment. 

So the task at hand is just to be and let Jesus prepare me for the next steps.  "Be still and know that I am God" Teach me how to just sit in your presence Lord. I pray for the grace to be, knowing that You have everything in hand and will keep me. It is after all You who makes me lie down in still waters so that You can restore my soul, let it be so Lord!