The Bible tells us that God wants to search our hearts; I believe that means he wants to get to know us, to stay close. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to really look into Jesus eyes? To have Him really look into you? I think that is what He wants. Just like with any true love there comes a time when you need to really take that step, trusting the other enough that you stop hiding and reveal the true you.
The problem often is that we don't know ourselves very well, we have hidden for so long that we forget who we really are underneath it all. Jesus helps us out, He challenges us to get out of the boat. I don't think He is bothered one bit by our failure either, He just wants us to be willing to join Him. In fact I think He sometimes laughs out loud at our fears and failures. For Him it means opportunity!
I have been praying for some time about my health, Ignatius would say we have no right to expect good health all the time. I fear this, I do not like to be sick. Lately I have been dealing with a very sore back. It is keeping me from getting things done and interfering with my sleep. I just want to make it go away. But Jesus has been using it to force me to look into His face. To listen to His counsel about what I need to do and what I do not need to do, and to believe what He has promised me He will do. He asked me if I would trust Him to do what He wants to do whether or not I am sick. That kind of sums it up doesn't it. It really is not about my comfort, or making things runs smoothly. It is about listening and doing what we are told.
I have been forced to stop running from pain, to be in it. I think I am beginning to get a glimpse of Jesus face and I am seeing His promises for me. Yes there is cost, nothing of value is without cost, but I am learning to trust Him a little more each day.
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